I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
