is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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