i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
