Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
