I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
