I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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