Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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