Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
