wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
