They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
