also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
