ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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