I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
