i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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