I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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