no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize