I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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