I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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