I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
