So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
