Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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