Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
