So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
we're so committed to being not committed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
