and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
