...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
