If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
