Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
