I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
