I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
