we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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