sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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