This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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