i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
