why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
