Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
