I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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