Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Someone shattered a urinal.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
