you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
