I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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