Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
