My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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