One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
