Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
