the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
