If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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