But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
