Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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