a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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