dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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