Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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