sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
