It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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