two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
