It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
