i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
