True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Alive.
So much puke
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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