that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize