I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Floor bacon is actually really good
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
