Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
