I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
