We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i dont even know how to be here
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
