I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
