you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
