so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize