I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
