I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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