No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
