The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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