Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
