can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
