who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
